I'm Uncomfortable With My Selfishness

I'm uncomfortable with my selfishness - 
Which has been present all my life.

In a way it's not bad; it helps people to survive.

But it doesn't help people become who they are meant to be.

Who God made us to be.

I hate trivia games, and honestly do not enjoy them with anyone -

Because I am not good at them and so I don't like them.

My mom is not good either, but she values family

So she plays them without complaining.

Even when Andrew makes fun of her.

I don't mind it with friends,

Like my mom doesn't with family.

Since I didn't have friends for so long,

I crave them so much - that I do unhealthy things.

That is selfishness on my end.

I am trying to love my family,

But I don't know what's healthy as a whole

And what I need to do to maintain healthy boundaries.

And now my family scheduled an escape room game

At the same time as my therapy this week.

I only have it, at best, every other week now.

I pay out of my pocket, since they dropped my insurance.

I will call and see if I can reschedule - but should I?

I mean I will, Lord Jesus You can heal me like no other.

Please heal me.