It Still Feels Like Rejection

I get that it's not about me,
That she needs more time alone,
And that though she initiated it,
She now knows she cannot handle it.

It still feels like rejection.

It was a dreary rainy day,
With fall thunderstorms in play,
And a busy afternoon,
With frustration at my fitting.

It feels like depression.

She told me she needs more alone time,
Though I've gone to her place
Almost everyday since July
At her suggestion and invitation.

It still feels like rejection.

It hurts, and I am sad.
But I will get over it.
I am not mad, like she thought.
I listen to painful songs that speak my mood
So I can get over it.

I definitely feel my try of suppression.

It's not about me, she says,
And I rightly know it's not.
I am now more extroverted,
And she is only more outgoing.

The outgoing girl who needs time to herself.

I get it, I really do.
But I can't help but feel like
I am being rejected.

I've Said Too Much

I am really tired of my family

Holding one of the friends 

I regularly hang out with

High up, and the other down low.

They haven't met the latter,

And the former has secrets they don't know.

Their judgement annoys me,

And it's partly my fault.

I've said too much about the latter,

And purposely kept stuff about the former.

Not so they'd gather opinions,

But simply so I'd get advice

About my fighting friends.

And now it's come to bite me,

Where I'm stuck in this place,

Where I like them both,

And I don't want to hear their opinions.

Where I Was

On September 11, 2001 I was in high school.
I had finished history class and a test in German class,
Then came to choir to learn that the towers were being hit.
On of my friends asked what movie it was from.

With the exception of my Algebra 1 and English teacher,
We watched the news during class.
I forgot to do my Algebra homework that night,
Because I was so focused on the news.

I didn't know anyone personally who died.
But I heard of a man who went to the church
Where my mom worked
Who was supposed to be on one of those planes.

He didn't get on because right before he was about to board
He said he felt a really strong feeling that he should not get on.
I later read of one of the pilots who was on the hijacked plane,
That usually his wife goes with him and she didn't that time.

Later I learned of countless sad stories,
Where there were no good endings.
At college I read that one of alumni from my school
Died that day, leaving behind two daughters.

My response is,
Don't forget.
Do remember.
Then shine on, America. Shine on.

Sometimes You Just Need a Hug

Sometimes you just need a hug.