A Memorial Day

May we always remember those who sacrificed for us,
As we sit by the pools and eat good food,
Drinking and hanging out with friends,
For without sacrifice we would have nothing.

This Is Not Okay

Last night I went to a friend's work happy hour,
And hung out with her, her coworkers, and some new people.
As people started leaving and the crowd thinned,
She got a text from someone who recognized her at the bar.

It was someone who she had forgotten but remembered this morning,
And as she played it off last night, talking and flirting,
He got himself and her a shot of her favorite - fireball.
That was when he drugged her.

At the time I missed the sign that they had gotten it at a different place at the bar,
But I caught his friend asking her if she was ready to take uber with them,
Even though it had already been stated that she was riding with me -
Which was the first thing that tipped me off that something wasn't right.

I noticed when the guy put his arm and body between us at the bar,
And created a barrier - I could feel he wanted me to leave.
I leaned over him, looked at my friend, and stared him down.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get in-between you two," he said.

I knew he was lying, but I didn't care, as I had tabbed out.
We left, my friend and I, and I took her home.
That was when things went from bad to worse.
For she was drunk in a way I had never seen before.

I looked up all this information online,
I helped her to the bathroom and kept an eye on her.
I brought her a pillow and blanket and slept right by her.
But while I am thankful that she ended up ok, I am still pissed.

Pissed that a twenty-three year old thinks he can drug girls as he wills,
Who works for the city government, and who has a friend who is complicit,
And who, my friend remembered this morning, did this just two years ago,
Where at the time she did go back to his (then) frat house and slept with him.

That is how he recognized her.
That may be why he came over again, figuring he could get her again,
Or maybe his friend wanted a turn (or likely both).
This is Not okay, and it never will be.

The Lyrics of Being Alive

Someone to hold me too close.
Someone to hurt me too deep.
Someone to sit in my chair,
And ruin my sleep,
And make me aware,
Of being alive.
Being alive.

Somebody need me too much.
Somebody know me too well.
Somebody pull me up short,
And put me through hell,
And give me support,
For being alive.
Make me alive.
Make me alive.

Make me confused.
Mock me with praise.
Let me be used.
Vary my days.

But alone,
Is alone,
Not alive.

Somebody crowd me with love.
Somebody force me to care.
Somebody let me come through,
I'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive,
Being alive.
Being alive.
Being alive!

Steven Sondheim

Boom Goes the Dynamite

On Saturday there was a Cinco De Mayo party,
At one of my friend's boyfriend's house.
It was good, and it was also bad.

A former friend and a former boyfriend were there,
As well as two of my actual friends.
Along with a guy I like but who doesn't like me.

I found out my one friend told him I liked him,
And my former friend tried to convince me to text her,
And when my other friend found out, she reacted.

I spent the night in the guest bedroom next to good guy I like
But who doesn't live here or like me like that,
And he was very kind and sweet and I don't regret it.

My former friend gave me the evil eye,
Which was honestly deserved as I let things out,
But I'm ok as long as my other friend and I are fine.

Somehow my one friend "broke" my former boyfriend,
I am not sure how exactly but I have an idea,
And it was really rather sweet that she kept him away from me.

It was a wild night that night, and even the next day
When I absorbed alone time and took some necessary reflecting,
As well as watching the fourth out of six of the last GOT.

I am not ready for the end.

When You Work With A Victim

And by victim, I mean victim mentality,
Of which too many people encompass.
And one of them I have to deal with almost every day,
The only one who does the same job I do.

For a long time she had been cherry picking files,
Until finally our boss assigned us evens (her) and odds (me).
Now I am so far ahead of her that I have to help her catch up.
While she pretends to be nice and sweet and kisses butt.

She's gotten in trouble this year, for old files undone,
The unpleasant ones no one wants to do -
And for hoarding policies and statements in her drawer,
Which it appears caused her to be written up.

She spent the first twenty minutes this morning shopping on her phone,
And constantly is away from her desk
When she is not on her phone shopping, texting, or watching videos -
Another coworker sees everything she does as he faces her each day.

The reason I say victim is because of her reaction -
Nothing is ever her fault, the universe is just out to get her.
She's a single mom and uses that when it fits,
Such as why she cannot guarantee to get to work on time.

I hate the games and refuse to play, even when she kisses my butt.
It's really just annoying at that point - I have caught her in too many lies.
She even brought her daughter in last week to reinforce her position,
And everyday everything is about her and her excuses.

But each day I deal with it, as one has to,
And a part of me feels for her, knows I need to love her,
But I have no respect for the games or excuses,
Which plague every victim I have ever known.

She Gave Me Her Wedding Dress

It is my grandmother's 93rd birthday today -
She's the only living grandparent I've had since I was 18.
I went in and talked with her tonight,
And she reminded me that she's given me her wedding dress.

She's given other things to other grand kids -
There are six of us in total, five girls and one boy.
She gave one her car when she moved in with my parents,
And at another time a very treasured cedar wood chest.

I have known since I was a kid that I will get her wedding dress,
A thin ivory gown, that I suspect she has treasured the most.
Because for some reason I have always been her favorite grand kid,
And when I was 14 my sister and I tried it on (it fit her better even then).

I appreciate her words of wisdom and joyful spirit,
That does not encompass many who are her age.
She knows she still has a reason for living,
And God has her in His hand.

I know she will not live forever though,
Even though I mean it when I say she is not allowed to die.
And though the wedding dress means nothing to me,
I know I will treasure the matter some day.