I Saw Him Last Night

It was actually Saturday night, and by him I mean my most recent ex,
The one I cared about more than any of my exes before him.
And he was a dick.

He came in to the party and sat down. Right beside me.
Which he didn't always do when we were dating,
But of course now that I don't want him to, he does.

Then, when the group got smaller and we were all talking,
He singled out my girl friend who was still there and kept asking her to do things.
A roadtrip to Nashville. Out to Tequila Cowboys on Thursday nights for 80s/90s throwback.

What a dick.

My mom thinks he's trying to make me jealous and wants me back.
My friend who was there thinks he just doesn't know how to express he is hurt.
I think it doesn't matter why, he was being a dick and I don't want to be around that.

So here we go, to a world will I will occasionally see him.
Where we have mutual friends (though they aren't really that close).
Where we will have to learn to be pleasant to each other.

But I am not going to volunteer to see him.
I will not invite to any of my events, or go to certain ones I know he will be at.
We are not getting back together. I could write a whole blog about that.

I get that he's hurting, and this is the first time we saw each other since the breakup.
But I am hurting too. I am just moving on, getting stronger day by day.
And it helps that I got a lot of closure from one of his friends.

Bye, bye, my ex. It was fun while it worked. But we are clearly not meant to be.

What I've Learned

I've learned that adults can throw temper tantrums, too (even publicly).
I've learned that adults can be hurt, and in turn passive aggressive (more so than kids).
I've learned that there's no end to grief, to hurt, to pain.
And some adults don't admit it

I've learned that my mother has her own hurts,
Even if she won't admit them (at least to me).

I've learned that running makes me feel good,
That alcohol is only temporary,
And that you can get used to any new normal.

I've learned that I have a lot to learn,
And adulting is something most adults don't feel like doing.

And I've learned that "adulting" is still not a word according to spellcheck.
But I shall use it anyway.