The Only One With You

Throughout your life,
The only one with you,
And truly by your side,
Is the One who made you,
The one true God,
Who contains no gender.

What Happened Last Weekend

Ten of us ladies - friends, a sister, a mother, and an aunt,
A cabin in the woods plus a guest cabin beside,
A birthday celebration, two cakes, and multiple games,
Snow, fire, movies, laughter and a whole lot of fun.

Externally, it was a weekend of unabashed fun.
Internally, it was a shift that was greatly needed.

Work Field Trip

It's funny how no matter the age,
Whether a kid in school or an adult in the workplace,
We all get funny when we are off our schedules.

Today my department took a field trip
To the animal shelter we chose as our charity this past holiday season.
This included the money we raised and supplies we bought.

We got to leave work early, throwing off our schedules,
And go to the animal shelter to drop off the stuff
And take a tour (which lasted less than we anticipated).

We took several photos - some which will be dispersed among the company,
And since I did not have any company clothing items that fit me
One of my coworkers generously lent me her jacket.

Once the tour ended and there was nothing else to do,
And since there was an hour left of the work day,
We all went to a wonderful happy hour (except one).

I learned that four out of six of us were shy growing up,
The same four that have some kind of OCD or anxiety disorder,
And it was overall a great bonding experience.

When I mentioned we need to do happy hour as a group again,
And I can organize it since the one who used to left,
My boss mentioned me putting to use my leadership skills.

I learned things about other coworkers, both good and bad,
About how three are praying for our department,
Though the way they handled it may not have been the best.

I learned that my boss is not anti-church, though her brother is,
And I need to go out and learn more about my one co-worker,
Who I struggle to like but who has hurts all her own.

All in all it was a good night, though I had planned to not drink
Until the work holiday party tomorrow (if I make it despite the weather),
And given my boss has mentioned it before, I need to start showing my leadership skills.

Today I Went Out

Today I went out with a friend of a friend
Who surprisingly invited me,
As we are not really friends individually,
And have only been in groups
When our mutual friend has invited the both of us.

It was a good time, meeting at a winery,
And at this time I remember all of their names.
There were seven of us in total,
So I met five new people.

For wanting to meet new people this year,
This was a really good start.
They didn't all know each other,
So I was not the only one on the out.

I am thankful for the invite.
Though I have no idea if there will be more in the future,
But it was an enjoyable time,
No matter how uncomfortable new situations are.

As we all have something in common -
This one person we know and enjoy.
Plus four of us were education majors,
Though only one of us (not me) still teaches.

All in all, it was well worth it
To go out and socialize,
And get out of my comfort zone,
And one of them lives very near me.

All in all, it was well worth the trip.

To All The Kids I've Known

To all the kids I've known,
Of every color and gender,
Starting when I was a teenager,
I wonder where you've been,
And I truly wish you well.

To the first girls I ever babysat,
The then pastors daughters,
You taught me a lot,
Including how to change a diaper.
I knew basically nothing,
But I learned to play with you,
And to be strong during dark storms,
And to just listen to you talk.

To the kids I babysat in high school,
The then church music leader's only son,
Who taught me to hate play-do,
And the kid I would later be a provider for,
You were great kids who provided
The perfect basis for what was to come.

The apartment kids, who we used to pick up
For Wednesday night church and special events,
I really wonder what happened to you.
I fear for what happened, both before I met you and after,
Because of the hard situations most of you came from,
And because of the tough road I knew you all had ahead of you.

To the kids I worked with in college,
Both in PB&J club after school hours,
And in the field work I was required to do,
I hope you had a good growing up,
And find yourself in happier places
Than you've ever known.

To the first four girls who ever became mine,
Who now range from almost age 6 to age 19,
I have loved you more than you can imagine,
And I still strive to be in your life always,
Even if it's just a little flicker,
And I don't see you for two years at a time.

To the boy I was a provider for the first summer of college,
I will never, ever forget you.
You told your mom you would marry me when you grew up,
And tried to lose me at Wyandot Lake (now Zoombezi bay).
You were smarter than you were special needs,
And I appreciate learning all I did from you.

To the five kids I nannied for my second college summer,
I will never forget any one of you,
Your close ages and precious condo,
The stories you hold and the love you gave,
Even though maybe only the oldest actually remembers me.
I enjoy seeing your faces on social media though it's been too long.

To the daycare kids, who I worked with in college,
You had my heart in ways no one else did.
You taught me so much - even as I was your teacher,
With your continual love and smiling faces,
Your lessons learned and growing stages,
They will always be something I remember,
Even among the trying discipline times.

To the kids the one year I taught -
You were a life lesson to me.
Some of you liked me and some of you didn't,
But I loved you more than the material I taught.
That is why I do not teach anymore -
In the end it was nothing to do with interacting with you,
And I remember you always,
The good and the bad.

To the space loving boy and his twin sister
Who I aided for in my mother's preschool class,
You kept me alive, and very intrigued.
You are both precious, no matter where you've since gone.

To the adopted girl and boy I babysat on and off for years,
I really tried to love and understand you,
And felt for you every time I learned of the horrible things
You had both survived and already had to deal with in your short lives.
You were not easy, but there was good reason,
And I really hope the important lessons you once learned help you now.

To the church kids -
Both when I taught Jr. Church in college with one of my best friends,
And when I later taught Jr. Church with the then new pastor's wife,
You are very special to me.
I will seriously never forgot the time I had with you,
And I really do miss the fellowship, of learning about God with you.
I honestly wonder where all of you are,
And I hope God has a special hold on you.

To the kids I nannied for - you three hold three years of my life.
I knew it would go too fast, and tried to enjoy every minute.
I just wish I had kept in contact more, been more open,
And pushed to see you outside of work.
The one time I tried you were in trouble and it didn't happen.
After the job ended I wish I contacted you both more,
And really pushed to see you all, and the precious parents too.
To the two girls with cell phones, my tries were not enough,
And you responded when you could, but now I'm not sure if I should text
Or it will just be awkward since I last heard from you
And learned the not surprising news of the split.

To the 17 months apart boy and girl I watched for that one fall -
I will not forgot your easygoing personalities and sweet smiles.
I knew you, precious girl, at one time for over half of your life -
Though not hard when you're only two months old at meeting! -
And I enjoyed watching you both grow.

To the twins I both loved and dreaded, you precious souls,
You both taught me patience and true love,
As you were a handful but loving and sweet.
I will never forget you, or your sweet parents either,
Who went to bat for me through the agency,
Before they and the agency no longer worked together,
And I lost tough with you maybe forever.
Even though I only saw you from around 19 months to 2 and 1/2,
And you probably won't remember me,
I hope and pray you find Him who has everything.

To the two girls who became my latest girls,
The children of one of my very good friends,
I hope and pray to watch you grow up.
We had a good night tonight, though you dominated my time,
Which I honestly do not really regret
(I will catch up with my friend, your mother, later;
Tonight she was fine with seeing the rest of my family.)
You are always wanted and loved.

I say a prayer for all of you,
That you would hold the hand of the One who made you,
And meet Him in this life, regardless of how it happens.
I say another prayer for all of my friends,
But I met you in innocent days,
And that will never be forgotten.

This is the Year

This is the year of 2019.
Happy New Year.
There is something about a new beginning
That gives hope,
Even when it's starting out tumultuous.

This is the year I have to let go.
Especially of my friend who is dating,
And who is no longer the single person I used to hang out with a lot.
This is the year I truly become happy for her,
And for all my other friends in their own endeavors.

This is the year I need to find appreciation
In everything in life -
My job, for which I am thankful to have,
My home - especially my room - which is warm and dry,
My family, who care even when they suffocate me,
My friends, who are like family to me.

This is the year I hope to fully bond with my cat,
Who came almost a year ago after my previous one passed.
And while we have definitely bonded to a degree,
This is hopefully the year she becomes all mine.

This is the year I really do have to make new friends,
To broaden my circle,
Because I absolutely have to
In order to survive,
Even if I only make two friends or four friends.
Especially if the few friends are quality friends,
As that is really what I am looking for, quality and not quantity.

This is the year I get back to doing devotions,
Because again I absolutely have to,
In order to survive,
Even more than I need to make new friends.

This is the year I bleed but not die,
This is the year I will cry but will survive,
Even if it kills me.