When You've Been Knocked Down

When you've been knocked down and can't take it anymore,
Cry for as long as your heart desires,
Cry out to God, for he already knows all the pain,
And cares more than any human ever could.

When you still have to go about your day,
Put the protective facade up to the world,
Only letting it down to those who care about you,
And go about your business -

Hurt can make you want to be mean,
But only you can decide how you react.
Emotions will only dictate behavior
If you let them.

All the Right Friends in All the Right Places

So thankful for my friend tonight,
Who told me the truth.

Sometimes we just need those friends,
In the right places, at the right times.

An Evening Bike Ride

An evening bike ride with a new friend 

Did my soul well tonight. 

I hope it did her soul well too.

There is Still Kindness in This World

A few weeks ago I got a new cube mate across from me.
She's not new to the company but new to the location.
She is technically in a different department,
Working directly for the C.O.O,
But she is smack dab in the middle of my department,
So I am going to consider her one of mine at work.

Anyways, she is very nice and quiet and sweet.
She is soft spoken to the point sometimes it's hard to hear her,
But though she is quiet she has been quite initiative.
She is actually a really good friend of a really good friend
Of one of MY really good friends,
So we had heard good things about each other before we met.

When the internet went down (not good for most of our business),
She decided to take a lunch, and offered to grab me something.
I initially declined, but when she asked what I had for lunch
I had to admit I didn't have anything (I didn't have time to grab any).
So she asked what I wanted and when she came back
I asked how much I owed her, and she said I owed her nothing.

I know it's a small thing, but the small things really do matter.
It was also seriously one of the best tasting foods I've ever had,
Because it was such a sweet gesture, and gifts are a language I speak well.
Today started out rough, but I am very thankful for this that reminds me
There is Still Kindness in This World.

There's Something I Don't Like About Him

There's always been something I didn't like about my friend's BF -
It was always very subtle, and I wasn't sure it wasn't just my jealousy,
Because she has in most ways cut me out, and there has been so much hurt,
But now I think there is actually something there - but it is still very faint.

He doesn't treasure her, based on his comment tonight,
Of how she can just take uber instead of getting a ride to the airport,
It was about tone as much or more than the words.
And it sounded like he encouraged the change in plans.

I used to think he did not keep her from her friends,
Based on the texts he sent to her that she showed us,
But now I am not so sure about that.
She would pick up on undertones that he would communicate to her.

The ones before ended it, in actions if not in words.
But this one enjoys her devotion of him, that she is older,
And does not realize that this is born out of her insecurity,
And her fear that she will not get what she wants - marriage and kids.

He does not know this,
But I wonder when he will figure it out,
As she keeps certain things about herself hidden,
And hasn't let herself completely open to anybody yet.

This is not a healthy relationship, on her part and his too.
In that way, they may be like each other, but it is not good.
They should help each other be better people,
And encourage each other to grow and develop.

I cannot say anything to her - this is the first time
I am openly admitting that I am not sure they are good together,
As this is the first time I have connected any reasons,
Other than the very subtle dislike I've always felt.

I am sensitive like that.
But the problem is, I cannot fix it or make it better.
As it is I have to make sure she does not use me as I have let her before,
And I am very much out of the loop of her life.

I love her dearly, I always have, even though her BF and I never connected.
She was very sweet at times this past Saturday to me,
Even in her utter selfishness and while she was with him.
May I never forget those sweet times.

She knows how to butter him up, and strokes his fragile ego,
And in some ways they are good together -
He is naturally sweet, and she is not.
And previously I have told her I liked them together.

I can't not support her now - but how do I support her and yet be honest?
If it comes up I can only mention truth, layered in kindness,
But I am not sure how well that will be received.
She has said he takes care of her so well.

Her whole family likes him,
And she is about to meet his.
I am a friend whose opinion now means basically nothing,
Especially as I am not even sure if he likes me.

I will continually pray for her,
And for God's will to be done.
Maybe this is the way He will reach her?
That is all that truly matters to me.

Friends Come in All Shapes and Sizes

From my beloved kitty cat (who bit me last night - but accidentally)
To my deepest friends, who open themselves to almost no one,
Friends come in all shapes and sizes.

I have six actual friends - it used to be seven,
But the seventh one wasn't really a friend.
Now I have six, and six is enough for now.

To the one who I've been friends with since we were ten -
We share a connection that is unique to us -
And we had such fun at the wedding three weekends ago,
Laughing and talking, like no time had passed.
She is my first and best BFF, no matter what.

To the one I didn't like at first, when I met her,
She has proven to be loyal and caring,
Despite her arrogant and snobby shell,
Though she now has a boyfriend,
Bringing out her selfishness times ten.
I still count her as my friend.

To the one I met through her,
Her supposed BFF and sister.
She liked me first but I liked her too,
And though I don't know her as well,
I hope to someday, as she's loyal and true,
Despite her uneasiness of getting close to another.

To the one who I met only because of the former friend,
The deepest one of them all,
I treasure her words and her stories,
Her strength and her soul, her will to move on.
She can teach me a lot about letting go.
She's one of a kind and here on earth for a reason,
That miracle baby who was born not breathing.

To the one who used to live next door,
I'm glad she got out, as it was haunted.
I just had vacation with her and we bonded
Even more than before,
As we both have OCD and get parts of each other
That nobody else does.

To my latest and yet sweetest friend,
I am so glad I met her.
She was right to get out from her former job,
Where we used to be coworkers,
But we will keep in touch always.

All these friends make an impact in my life,
And I thank God for them everyday.

I Didn't Want to Leave Paradise

A vacation to Charleston, South Carolina, United States.
A good friend, her mother, and three of her aunts,
An old house in the historical section of Charleston,
The Holy City, because of the amount of churches,
But also the city built upon bones and ashes of dead men and women.

We had three and a half days of wonderful weather,
Seeing many sights, enjoying each other's company,
While checking out all the delicious food and drinks,
With daytime historical tours and nighttime bars (and one ghost tour!),
This will be a vacation I will never forget.

Dinner with Another Friend

Tonight I had dinner with another friend -
Another acquaintance, who sits by the first one at work,
Who does not like the one I had dinner with earlier this year,
But who plays some of the same games, only better.

It was actually nice to catch up, as we do have good memories together,
But I did not like when she implied things about another friend,
Practically accusing her of things - only to cause discord.
I know my people - and I am very loyal to them, not to her.

She has tried this with another friend, but I talked to her
And she got mad about what this girl said to me.
But I fear this girl will keep trying, keep trying until she drives an edge,
And she is so clever, so smart, that it is harder to catch than anyone I've known.

I will continue to communicate with mutual friends -
But I will not try to control them, despite my fears -
My fears that they will turn away from me, that they will believe her lies,
That some way she will get in-between us all.

Even though the one friend just yesterday said she is done with her.
This girl will not let go so easily, I have learned tonight.
At least one of my friends saw through her completely,
And for that I am very thankful.