She Lied To Me

She lied to me - 
The One Who Knows Me Better & Less,

In her timeline of getting together with 

Her current partner, for better or for worse.

The One Who Should Know Me Better 

Is not all wrong, as I figured.

But I didn't expect or want the betrayal.

Still, we will get over it.

She hid him in her heart,

For fear of it not being real.

She just wants to find happiness,

When for so many years she's been living by a lie.

My gut feeling when she told me about him 

Was that she was playing catch up,

And I had a very strong uneasy gut feeling. 

After all, she is also just human. 

I remember feeling thankful she filled me in,

And for all she has told me, 

As she doesn't trust anyone.

And she has volunteered what she has told me.

That doesn't mean I always helped,

As I said things that didn't make it easy to respond.

I always want the truth,

But sometimes the truth is just plain hard. 

She lied to me in a very superfluous thing;

She reminded me of my cousins years ago,

Who started telling me the true story and got scared

And then changed the ending. 

I forgive her for that, even though she did not ask; 

She doesn't even know I know,

But she is quite sensitive and though I want to see the best,

I more want to know the truth.

Can you truly love someone without knowing who they are?

I hope we always stay friends.

We have both been through unspeakable things.

May we always find each other.

My Cat is a Hunter Cat

My cat is a hunter cat,
And I love her so much for it!

Tonight she spotted a moth,

And she is still trying to kill it.

She has killed mice before,

And knows how to use her claws.

I love my dear kitty,

But she really needs to stop pooping outside of the litter box.

I Love and I Hate

Growing up I was always told,

You can dislike someone but you can't hate them - 

Especially those in the church.

No matter what they do, they are going to heaven too.

The longer I've been out of church,

The harder it is to fit in again when I visit - 

Though that is true for anything 

That people are not used to.

But is church supposed to be like that?

Is it supposed to be filled with such jargon 

That it doesn't make sense to the average person?

Is the church supposed to wait for people to come to them?

Though I don't do church anymore,

One of my greatest mentors I met there - 

But he did not stay there.

Church is a catalyst of both love and hate for me personally.

I love that I met that K.L.W. there,

Even though, at five, I had no idea how good of a thing it was.

I hate that the one who verbally tormented me to make himself feel better 

Was there, all the time, blaming me for things both true and untrue.

I hate that people told my mom she held me too much,

And that holding babies too much spoiled them. 

I hate that I was blamed for making my parents late - 

As if I controlled them, though in large part because of this person I did stall.

I remember being five and hating that it was like a show.

I loved to (and still love to) dress up,

But I hated that my mom only let me wear dresses to church,

And not in my everyday life when I really wanted to.

I hated that our vacations revolved around church - 

They were leaders in a smaller church,

So they planned it around Sundays,

As if that was what we should revolve our life around.

I hated that my mom was often children's ministry director,

Meaning she had us at church way too often,

But I also loved the perks, including free gifts,

And the feeling of knowing someone in power.

The church has always been a catalyst of mixed emotions,

Of abuse and of power, of love and of control;

While love can sometimes be found there,

All too often it is a place of pure hate. 

One Step At A Time

ONE STEP AT A TIME

Verse 1
When something seems too hard to handle
Too big to conquer, too far away to touch,
When all your dreams begin to shatter,
And deep inside you you’re hurting, oh, so much,
That’s when it’s time to say

Chorus
I’m climbing my mountain step by step
I’m climbing my mountain day by day
I’m climbing my mountain all the way
I’m climbing my mountain, I’m gonna make it
One step at a time, One step at a time,
One step at a time with Jesus by my side
One step at a time, One step at a time,
I’m climbing my mountain one step at a time

Verse 2
Even though you might grow weary
Don’t be discouraged, in your weakness God is strong
Remember this, He’ll never leave you,
He won’t forsake you, He’s your strength and He’s your song
So sing and start to say,

Chorus

Tag
One step at a time, One step at a time,
One step at a time with Jesus by my side
One step at a time, One step at a time,
I’m climbing my mountain
I’m climbing my mountain one step at a time

Words & Music Ernie Rettino & Debby Kerner Rettino
©1985 & this arrangement 1986 Rettino Kerner Publishing– www.psalty.com
All rights reserved. International Copyright Secured.

The Song Amazing

Consider your needs of the past
When somebody helped but you never asked
Now think of the joy you received
When you reached out to someone else in need

(Pre-Chorus)
Cause some days we laugh
Some days we cry
Some days we hold it deep inside
Though each day is a gift from on high

(Chorus)
But what I find
Amazing
The love we give the love we gain
Amazing
There's so much more that's in Jesus name

Sometimes it's hard to see
That it's more blessed to give than receive
Learning from different mistakes
Learning to give instead of just take
But when we all start to blend
We'll be like colors surrounding the sun as it sets

(Repeat Pre-Chorus)

(Chorus)

(Pre-Chorus)

(Chorus)
Amazing
Sometimes it's hard to see
That it's more blessed to give than receive
Consider your needs of the past
When somebody helped but you never asked

He Swept Her Off Her Feet

He swept her off her feet, 
The ex of The One Who Should Know Me Better,

The new BF of The One Who Knows Me Less.

(She is still the One Who Knows Me Better too.)

Everything is different than a month ago,

Everything is accelerated. 

They are moving across country in a couple months - 

After only a little over a month of official dating.

They are definitely in the honeymoon stage - 

And I can't dismiss the bliss they feel!

I'm concerned about the things repeated

That happened a year or so ago with another.

The things I did when he was with

The One Who Should Know Me Better,

May I not do now, no matter how I feel,

Because I do truly want the best for both of them.

What do I do now?

I let her go.

God accepts no idols.

And He knows who they are even before we do.

The Letter

My child, I pray you'll listen to
A thing I must confess
You've been a treasure buried deep
Within my busyness
You were not born into this world
To live an orphan's life
And by God's grace
I long to make it right

Your life's a living letter
That's a sacred certainty
A poem of perfect praise
That's what I hope you will be
It's all you were and all you are
And all you'll ever be
Your life's a letter
Written there by me

Day by day I write across
The pages of your life
Some sentences of kindness
And some paragraph of light
May they be words of love
And words of hope
Not words of dark despair
For on your soul the world
Will read them there

Your life's a living letter
That's a sacred certainty
A poem of perfect praise
That's what I hope you will be
It's all you were and all you are
And all you'll ever be
Your life's a letter
Written there by me

Your life's a letter
Written there by me