The Art of Letting Go

From one of my prolific FB friends,
Who almost always posts spot on to what I need,

Who has thousands of FB friends,

So you never know who she is helping.

Yes, she is a she, and her initials are BMY.

I do not know the author of this post - it spread from person to person.

But it's something we all likely need to hear at some point,

Or at least those of us who are natural caregivers.

You can love others and still be at peace,

Care for others and grieve while being whole.

Because it is not dependent on others to fulfill you - 

It is up to you and the One who made you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friend posted this from a woman named Dee Hollimon. Worth the read.

——-

My mom had a lot of problems. She did not sleep and she felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick, until one day, suddenly, she changed.

One day my dad said to her:

- I've been looking for a job for three months and I haven't found anything, I'm going to have a few beers with friends.

My mom replied:

- It's okay.

My brother said to her:

- Mom, I'm doing poorly in all subjects at the University ...

My mom replied:

- Okay, you will recover, and if you don't, well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.

My sister said to her:

- Mom, I smashed the car.

My mom replied:

- Okay daughter, take it to the workshop, find how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.

Her daughter-in-law said to her:

- Mother-in-law, I came to spend a few months with you.

My mom replied:

- Okay, settle in on the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.

All of us gathered, so worried to see these reactions coming from Mom. We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribed 1000 mg pills called "I don't give a damn."

Perhaps she was overdosing on these!

We then proposed to do an "intervention" to my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had towards some anti-tantrum medication.

But what happened was a big surprise when we all gathered around her and my mom explained:

"It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life, it took me years to discover that my anguish, my mortification, my depression, my courage, my insomnia and my stress, did not solve their problems but aggravated mine.

I am not responsible for the actions of others, but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.

Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one solve what corresponds to them.

I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration and neurolinguistic programming, and in all of them, I found a common denominator: finally they all lead to the same point.

And, it is that I can only interfere with myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own lives.

I can only give you my advice if you ask me and it depends on you to follow it or not.

So, from now on, I cease to be the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depository of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.

From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.”

Everyone at my mom's house was speechless.

From that day on, the family began to function better, because everyone in the house knows exactly what it is that they need to do.

For some of us this is hard, because we've grown up being the caregivers feeling responsible for others. Breathe, release and relax and let them figure it out. They eventually will.