Rest My Eyes

Don't look into my eyes 
For I can't hide my pain. 
Don't ask me how I am,
Because I cannot fully explain.

I lock myself in the bathroom,
So I can be alone.
Living this life is difficult, 
When you are the one that's lone.

Hurry up, settle down,
I can't handle this change.
For what I once thought was true
Has turned out to be in vain. 

I'm avoiding my brother,
I'm avoiding my friend.
I don't like to be vulnerable, 
In case it makes all the good things end. 

Now where does that leave me,
Now where will I go?
Back to where I started, 
Only more of a broken bow.

I'm learning so much anyways,
But my fears strike and take hold.
I need to face them courageously
And be the one who is bold.

But who am I really?
Can you tell me who I am?
For I am the one who mends and folds,
As gentle as a lamb. 

She's happy talking to my brother,
He would see through my lies.
And I am just so very tired,
I need to rest my eyes. 

There's new hope in the morning,
It will be a new day. 
We got in over our heads, 
But right now we are okay.

written 3-18-2021

Edit: My brother knew it wasn't for my best

But he was involved and knew more than I knew then.