We Have Titles

So my aunt and uncle are here.
We are relatives in title,
But I do not really know them,
Not well at all.

I know their names,
I always have,
And I've seen them off and on,
Growing up and now.

I connected with my cousins,
Once upon a time,
But we all have our own lives now,
And it's hard to connect.

I appreciate the times we do,
The occasional facebook messages,
The letters in response,
And I still love them wholly.

But my aunt and uncle
Would be strangers,
If it wasn't for blood,
If it wasn't for the title.

That is why I don't feel bad,
That I spent most of tonight
On the phone with my sister,
Who as much as we don't get each other,
I think we really can, when we try.

And why I'm now in my room,
Eavesdropping on my grandma and them,
Where they got the years my sister
Has been married all wrong.
At least they thought it was more, not less.

Family is a title,
And I take it with a grain of salt.
Because blood might not be debatable,
But the definition of family certainly is.
And titles mean nothing in the long run.

The Truth About Life

I've always had a desire to know the truth.
Sometimes that makes me an emotional masochist.
But it's okay, because God heals my soul.

You think when you get older things get better,
But they don't.
I was actually warned about this when I was in eighth grade.
At the time, I thought that was not what I needed to hear.
But it was the truth, and I heard it and lived.

Now I know this is the truth about life.
Life does not get easier; in many ways it gets harder.
At least some things do get better, though not easier.

This is life. And the secret to life is God.
Let him in. Let him stay. Let him clean up.
That's all.

I Feel Sick

The Concert I Will Have Fun At

I worked so hard to get here, in more ways than one.
But tonight is the night of the concert I am determined to enjoy.

That Kind of Night

When you're on your period and it's been a bad day, sometimes you make certain decisions. #winenight

This Date in Time

You would have been 35, my friend.
I will never forget all the birthdays we celebrated together.
I always love you and miss you,
You will never be forgotten.

Best Birthday Ever

I wasn't sure at first
There was potential for so much drama
And with my anxiety so high
I was hopeful yet cautious.

I only invited a selective few
First a happy hour for my coworkers
Then dinner reservations for a few friends and me
To celebrate my big day.

My team came out for a few,
The two who I work the closest with,
Along with three of my friends.
A couple friends couldn't make it,
And one coworker joined later.

It was so much of a blast
That I have absolutely no pictures from that night.
I was so busy enjoying the people I was with,
Drinking and laughing, talking and connecting,
That I was hardly ever on my phone.

I ended up spending the night with a different friend
Than I originally planned,
The original one got sick and left early,
And the other one had an extra bed
And wanted to go out more anyways,
And it really worked out in the end.

I can't explain the awesome conversations,
The delicious drinks and drama free night,
Which is what ended up being created
On the night it was only me and my people.